The Broken Road
by Deyse
Summary: By Kimbre and Deyse. When Monica confesses her true feelings for the Angel of Death, the understanding she anticipates goes drastically wrong. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello, everybody! My sister Kim started this story and wrote the first chapters, then I joined her and now we're partners in crime!_

_We truly hope you like it! _

_PS. Gaby, sis, this is for ya!_

**The broken road**

**Chapter 1**

The wind blowing her hair around her face obscured Monica's view of the angel she was walking beside of down the forest path. But she could still make out his handsome features as the breeze rippled through his blond hair. Her hand felt so secure enclosed in his, as if nothing in the universe could ever hurt her as long as he was holding her hand.

These new emotions had been welling up inside of her for weeks now and Monica could not even begin to understand them. She had ever only seen Andrew as a friend, her best friend, but now, something in her heart appeared to be changing. Now when he hugged her, or reached for her hand, a strange fluttering would begin in her stomach and seemed to work its way up to her cheeks, which would burn as if Andrew could clearly tell what she was thinking. It was getting more and more difficult to hide the fact that she was troubled from him, but Monica was also so ashamed of how she felt that she was terrified to admit the truth to her friend.

Angels were not supposed to feel this way about anyone, yet alone another angel and what she feared most was that if someone discovered the truth that she and Andrew would be separated forever. Of course, the little angel knew that God was always aware of what was in her heart, but this was one thing she couldn't bring herself to discuss with him. She was deeply afraid that God would be so disappointed in her, or worse yet, that he already was.

Monica was barely aware of the fact that Andrew had stopped walking, until she nearly stumbled, before she turned questioning dark eyes to him, "Andrew?"

"Sit down, angel," He invited her softly, indicating the rocks that were alongside the bubbling brook that ran down below them. Her expression was so inquisitive and so worried that it only reinforced his reasons for bringing her here in the first place.

"Andrew? What is it?" Monica's heart was suddenly pounding so loudly that she was certain he could hear it as well.

Sitting down, he waited until she had done the same, though she looked as if she might flee at any given minute, "Monica, I brought you down here so we could talk."

"Talk?" She blinked as her gaze met with his, "Why? What's the matter?"

"I'm not sure, angel," He began slowly, watching her every tiny movement with his eyes, "I'm hoping you can tell me."

"Andrew, what? No. I don't understand…." Her panic was growing. He knew! Somehow he knew!

"Angel, you do know," He reached for her hand and held it firmly in his own, "Something hasn't been right between us for weeks now and it seems to be getting worse," Andrew's voice trailed off for a moment and when he returned his gaze to her, there was hurt in his eyes, "You've closed off your heart to me, Monica. What is it you don't want me to know?"

Her breath caught in her throat. She hadn't even realized what she had done, but she had been so intent on Andrew not knowing anything was wrong, that she had inadvertently done the one thing that would cause him the most concern.

Andrew watched worriedly as the wide range of emotions crossed her face and he felt himself nearing desperation. He had known the moment she had closed off her feelings to him that something had been terribly wrong, "Monica, please, talk to me. You know that I hate it when something is wrong and you won't allow me to help."

"You can't," She blurted out, suddenly no longer able to meet his green eyed stare, "You can't help me with this, Andrew."

"At least give me the chance, Monica," He pleaded with her, "You know that there is nothing so wrong that I can't at least listen."

"Not this time," Her voice was laden with tears and she tried to flinch away when Andrew looked her chin into her hand to force her gaze.

"Tell me," His own heart was now pounding at seeing the tears in her eyes and her obvious distress, "Please, angel. Let me help."

"I can't," Monica's voice caught in a sob and she tried to look away, but his hand moved to cup her face, stopping her attempt to hide.

"Tell me," Andrew repeated, forcing his voice to remain calm, as his thumb stroked her cheek in an effort to soothe her. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and protect her from whatever was causing her so much hurt, but he couldn't until he knew the truth.

Her lower lip trembled as tears found their way down her cheeks. How could she lie to him when he was looking at her with so much tenderness and concern? Maybe he was right. Maybe there was nothing that she couldn't tell him, "I….I've been feeling differently…." She began, closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to see his reaction to her confession.

"Differently? Differently how?"

"Differently…about you…." She whispered as more tears slipped from beneath her long lashes.

Andrew's head reared back as he tried to imagine what she meant, "Angel, why? Have I done something to upset you? You know I never want to hurt you, Monica so if I have-."

"No. Not like that. You never hurt me."

"Then what?"

His voice was pleading and she knew she had to say it. The last thing Monica wanted was her dearest friend thinking he had done something wrong, "Andrew, you've always been my best friend, you know that, but lately….lately I've been feeling like….I'm in love with you."

There. She'd said it. Now he could reassure her that she was wrong. That somehow she had misunderstood her own mind and heart because surely there was no other explanation for it. Silence hung in the air between them and when Monica felt his hand fall away from her face, only then did she open her eyes.

Andrew's expression was unreadable and suddenly, all she wanted to do was to reel the words back in again. She never should have said it, "I know it's wrong and I know I'm not supposed to feel that way, but those feelings are still there, Andrew and I don't know what to do! I'm so ashamed, but even that doesn't keep me from feeling the way I've been feeling!"

He gave a short nod of his head though he refused to meet her dark eyes, "You're right," He began slowly, "It is wrong to feel that way."

"I know, but what do I do?" Her distress was mounting and all she wanted was his arms around her but now he wouldn't even look at her.

Andrew shook his head as he gazed out through the woods. He knew what he wanted to tell her, but he couldn't as it would only make things worse. He had no idea why this was happening but he knew he had to protect her as best he could, even if she didn't understand. She was looking at him with eyes so trusting, knowing he was going to provide an answer. He only hoped he could live with himself once he did.

"I don't think it is what you think it is, Angel," He began tentatively, "We've been spending a lot of time together and maybe it has made things confusing."

"It doesn't feel confusing," Monica interrupted tearfully, "I know what I'm feeling, Andrew."

He closed his eyes painfully. Yes, of course she did. He knew that all too well, "Monica, what I believe needs to happen is that you and I need to spend some time apart," He saw the protest in her eyes but he held up a hand to stop her before she could vocalize it, "Angel, please, I don't like this any more than you do, but I think some time alone when you can talk to the Father is in order. Only he can why you are feeling this way." Andrew could only hope that was true as his own prayers had gone unanswered.

"But…but for how long?"

The smallest of sobs escaped her and it was enough for him to pull her into his strong arms and hold her tightly, "I don't know, Angel Girl and I don't like this anymore than you do, but we know we were not created to have these kinds of feelings," He stroked her long hair as he listened to her quiet weeping against his chest, his own heart breaking along with hers, "I'd rather be apart from you long enough for this to be figured out, then to be apart from you for the rest of eternity."

"It's going to feel like eternity," Monica whispered brokenly. She had wanted him to fix this, but this was not at all what she had envisioned. Yet she had always thought of Andrew being not only older but a wee bit wiser about certain things and this was certainly one of those things, "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry this happened, Andrew."

Guilt ripped through him and he pulled away to lay his hands against her cheeks, "You have no reason to apologize, Angel. No reason at all. I'll see you soon. I promise."

"But where do I go?" Her Irish brogue was thick with emotion.

"Go with God, Angel."

Another moment passed as they stared into each other's eyes before Monica flung herself back into his arms briefly, "I'll make it go away. I promise I will. I'll bet it doesn't even take very long."

Pulling away once more, Andrew kissed her forehead lovingly, "We'll work it out, Monica."

He watched as she finally turned and walked away from him, down the dirt path that they had not long ago come up together. Andrew became acutely aware of the fact that though the silence of her heart had been difficult, the pain that was now emulating from it was almost physically painful for him.

Of course, add that pain to the anguish he felt over not being honest about his own feelings and Andrew knew he would be spending the better part of the next several days in prayer. But he couldn't see anything good coming out of admitting to the little Irish angel that the feelings she had spoken of were anything but foreign to him. Andrew had been ignoring his own growing affection for his dearest friend for the better part of two years now because he was far too afraid to admit it and possibly be whisked away from her forever. No, he would much rather keep quiet about it and have Monica continue to be in his existence. However, that little bit of rationalization did nothing for his conscience now.

She had been honest and he had maintained his silence and it hardly seemed fair. But to admit similar feelings to her could only allow them both to lose control. At first, he had been quiet about how he had been feeling because he had been afraid of the same things she had: shame, self-loathing, her reaction to his professed love for her. Today he had been quiet in order to not make things anymore complicated.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Andrew leaned against the rock they had been sitting on only moments ago. The little stream below trickled happily on its way and at one time that sound would have brought him great peace, but now the tormenting within his soul was enough to drown out the bubbling water. A heartbeat later, he sucked in a deep breath as he felt Monica withdraw her heart once more from his and the action felt like a physical blow. She didn't want him to know how badly she was hurting.

"Father, did I do the right thing? Please, help us through this. Guide us, please." He was begging but the heavens were stubbornly remaining silent, even to an angel, so it seemed that there was nothing else to say. But then a second later, a whisper poured from his lips, summing up all he felt inside.

"I miss you already, Angel."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Six months later….

Tess was growing impatient and though that was not out of the ordinary for her, it was when that impatience was directed at her young charge. Though it had always been true that Monica could be a bit of a daydreamer and that occasionally, her innocence and love for the human race could get her into trouble in her assignments, Tess could not deny that the little angel was doing extremely well with her cases. No, that was not the problem. The real problem was that Tess could not exactly put her finger on what exactly the problem was. Yes, it was true that Monica was a little sadder, a little quieter and that there was a certain sparkle missing from her dark eyes, but the older angel chalked that up to the fact that for some reason in six months time, Andrew had not been assigned to work with them.

That in itself was strange enough but what was even stranger was that Monica made very little mention of that fact. Usually if the gentle Angel of Death went a few weeks without working with them, Monica would be missing him terribly and would be quite vocal about that fact. The Irish angel had never been one to keep her feelings contained and anyone that had ever seen the interactions between Monica and Andrew knew that the pair was extremely close. Almost since the day they had met, Andrew had taken the inquisitive younger angel under his wing, so to speak, and what had started out as a bit of mentoring had quickly grown into a lasting friendship. Tess had always been amazed at the protective nature that Monica brought out in the blonde angel and there had been times that the supervisor had to remind him that God was looking out for his little Irish angel as well. But even knowing that the Almighty had everything under control sometimes did little to keep Andrew from worrying about his friend.

Something had to be causing these changes in her young charge, but Monica was certainly not talking. Though when Tess would mention Andrew's name, she would see the flash of guilt that would spark in Monica's dark eyes before she would turn away to hide it, less Tess see too much. The supervisor's inquiries to God also went unanswered to her satisfaction. The Father would just gently remind her that some things Monica was choosing not to share at the moment. It was just a struggle for Tess to accept that as the little angel was generally an open book and recently Tess felt as if she couldn't read past the first page.

Seeing her charge walking towards her, Tess was forced to abandon her thoughts and to replace them with a smile, "Nice job, baby, as always."

"Thank you, Tess," Monica returned her smile as a slight blush rose to her cheeks. She had only been doing her job so she never really felt that praise was necessary, "Have we been reassigned?"

The older angel could clearly read the hopeful expression on her charge's face and was reminded that was just one more thing that was out of place. In past years, there was nothing Monica loved more than a day off work with her friends, but now at the mention of a day off, the little angel seemed to panic and would then plead to be able to continue working. Up until now, Tess had been able to arrange for another assignment for the young angel, but this time God had been very clear. Monica was to take the next two days off work.

"No, Angel Girl. The Father has informed me that you more than deserve a little time off," She watched the expression change on Monica's face and Tess decided to continue before the inevitable pleading began, "Now no arguments, Miss Wings. The Almighty was very clear when he told me you needed a break."

Monica began to study the ground as a tiny sigh escaped her, "All right. If that's what he wants, but Tess, please tell him that if anything comes up and he needs an angel right away, that I would be more than happy to-."

"I'm sure he knows that, baby, being the creator of the universe and all."

"Oh….yes, of course. I didn't mean to insinuate-."

Tess cut her off again but this time by placing her hands on her shoulders, "Angel Girl," Her voice was soft which was enough to cause Monica to look up at her, "I know that something is going on with you, baby and I know that whatever it is, you don't want to tell me and I can accept that. But the Father is giving you the next few days to try to sort it all out in your mind. My guess is that all this working you have been even more eager than usual to do, is a way of hiding from this problem of yours, but baby, it is no way to solve it."

Monica bit her lower lip, trying to force back the tears that were threatening her dark eyes, "No, Tess….I don't…"

"Monica," Though still soft, Tess' voice became ever so slightly stern, "Miss Wings, you look me right in the eye and tell me something is not upsetting you and I promise I will never bring it up again."

For a brief moment, Monica looked as if she wanted to deny it but then she remembered that angels were never, ever supposed to lie. Besides, she had a feeling that even if she did lie to Tess, that her supervisor would know the truth. Meeting Tess' eyes briefly, the little angel then looked away as a lone tear made its way down her cheek.

"Oh baby," Tess whispered sadly as she drew the younger angel into her arms, "Just remember, Angel Girl, that there is no problem so big that God cannot help you solve it. You only need to take it to him."

"I think this time may be different, Tess," She uttered tearfully, "He'll be so angry with me-."

"Nonsense, Monica. There is nothing in all of heaven that could keep his love from you. There is nothing you could do or say or feel that would make him love you any less. You tell that to your assignments all the time, baby so what makes it any different for you? You're his child as well."

Monica sniffled as she pulled away and wiped at her eyes, "I suppose you won't be with me over the next few days?"

"No. I have a few things of my own to attend to. But I'll be there for you once the Father tells me it is time to get back to work."

The forlorn expression on the little angel's face nearly undid her, but Tess held onto her resolve, "Take care of yourself, baby and I'll see you soon."

"Bye Tess," the words were barely out of the angel's mouth before her supervisor disappeared.

Soon after Monica walked alone along the shore, allowing the ocean waves to break gently over her feet. This was the first time in six months that she had been alone with her thoughts concerning Andrew and all that had occurred the day she had told him about her feelings. She had been doing a very good job of ignoring the things that had happened and of avoiding the fact that her feelings regarding the Angel of Death had not changed in six months time. She was still holding onto what Andrew had said: that they needed to be apart until these feelings of hers went away, but what Monica could not begin to understand is why they weren't going away.

If anything, not seeing Andrew was making her love him even more because she missed him so terribly. He was so much a part of her and now she felt as if part of her very soul were missing. How much longer before these terrible feelings would go away? Would they ever go away and if they didn't, did that mean she could never see Andrew again? The very thought of that caused tears to spring to her eyes.

Never in a million years would she have ever expected to find herself feeling this kind of love for her best friend. She wasn't supposed to feel this way. Andrew said it was wrong, and he never lied to her. So what was she supposed to do? She missed him. She wanted to see him again. Being without him was a kind of lonely she had never before experienced and some days it was all she could do to hold herself together.

Seeing a mountain of rocks that lingered above the ocean, the little angel began to climb them, being careful as they were quite slippery against her bare feet. Once on top, she sat down, and gazed out over the ocean, allowing the ocean breeze to blow her hair against her face until it created a shield around her delicate features. To anyone who might have passed by her, it would have prevented them from seeing the tears she was finally allowing herself to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Where on one side of the country, a little angel wept, clear on the other end of the earth, another was feeling rather angry. When Andrew had suggested to Monica that she spend some time alone with God, he had never intended to not see her for months. However, not seeing the little angel was bad enough; not feeling her heart caused an ache in his that was almost physically painful.

When Andrew was truly honest with himself, he knew that the majority of his anger stemmed from his own dishonesty. His dearest friend had confessed her feelings to him, with the truth of the world in her eyes and he had been a coward, too afraid to admit his own evolving sentiments for her. He had loved her in silence for so long, but the silence had been safe. The silence, he liked to think, could not be a sin or an assault against the Father. Angels weren't supposed to experience the emotions of humans! He knew that even though God knew his every thought, Andrew just felt better being quiet about this particular feeling, despite the fact that it was one of the strongest feelings he had ever known.

He kicked angrily at the rock that was lying across his path as he remembered that day when the Irish angel had confessed her feelings to him. For a brief moment, his heart had been filled with the greatest joy and all he had wanted to do was to kiss the little angel until they were both breathless. Ironically, it had been that very thought that had brought him back to reality and right or wrong, that is precisely why he had chosen not to confess his own love. His silence had been a wall between them that had prevented them from acting on their emotions. Had Andrew been honest, nothing would have stopped him from finally kissing her lips, but now it seemed that his lack of truth had still caused his worst fear to come true.

He had lost her.

Andrew knew that Monica was running. These feelings he had were not going away on their own, and neither were Monica's and he agonized about that. The little angel was the epitome of innocence and purity and her sweet little movements and words had always held him captive and had filled his heart with great love for her. Now he knew that wherever she was, Monica was suffering. He had begged God to send him to her, but he had been answered with silence. Andrew had even pleaded for forgiveness for his feelings towards the younger angel as well as about his dishonesty with her, but again, there had been nothing which left him more than a little perplexed.

Andrew often wondered if she had confided in Tess as he had not seen the older angel who was his friend and mentor in just as long. Surely Tess and Monica were together and for that much he was at least grateful, though it did little to soothe his worried heart. The rock he had been kicking up the path began to embody all his frustrations as he gave it a much harder tap with his foot, sending it skittering down the path and off to the side to take up residence in the moss.

"What'd that rock ever do to you?"

The sound of Tess' voice caused the blond angel to whirl around and though he was pleased to see her, his green eyes immediately searched for the petite little angel he was accustomed to seeing at her side.

"She's not with me, baby, but she is exactly who I came to talk to you about." Tess approached him and then Andrew could clearly see the concern in the older angel's eyes.

"Is she all right?" Andrew questioned, deciding that was a safe enough thing to ask, but he was sure Tess could hear the urgency in his voice.

"As a matter of fact, Angel Boy, she isn't all right and I was hoping you could shed a bit of light on what might be bothering her. "

"Me?" He stammered, certain that his face was a picture of guilt, but it was obvious that Tess knew nothing about the conversation that had transpired between him and Monica.

Tess eyed him carefully for a moment and then gave out a sigh, "Listen, Andrew. You don't have to tell me what is going on, but I'm asking you to talk to her; to work out whatever this is between you. She's hurting, that much is obvious and I've been seeing the pain in her eyes for months and I don't like it one bit."

He gave a sharp nod, only too anxious to do what his mentor was asking of him. He had wanted to go to Monica for months now and finally he was getting the invitation to do just that, "Where is she, Tess? Do you know where I can find her?"

The older angel was quiet for a moment and then nodded her head, "The ocean, baby. Just please…"

But before Tess could even continue, Andrew had vanished from sight.

X

The night breeze coming off the ocean was chilly now that the sun had finished its descent below the horizon, but Andrew barely noticed as he stood on the porch of a tiny beach house, his eyes scanning the shore for one little angel. It only took him a moment to spot her, sitting alone and forlorn on the sand and he was down off the steps a heartbeat later. He couldn't get to her fast enough.

But when he got closer, he slowed his pace, not wanting to frighten her. The light from the moon illuminated her delicate features and he could just make out the shiny paths that tears had made against her pale skin. The sight made his jaw clench and he knelt down in the sand next to her, "Angel?"

The sound of his voice caused Monica to draw in a sharp breath as she turned her head to face him, but her words were not at all what he expected.

"Andrew….you can't stay here….please, things aren't any different. Just go. Please?" Her voice was trembling and her liquid brown eyes shone with great pain.

"No, Monica," He whispered softly to her as his hand moved to touch her cheek, "I need to talk to you. Please, listen to me. I did something inexcusable. I wasn't honest with you when you told me what you were feeling. I didn't tell you the truth."

Monica swallowed hard, suddenly trying to keep up with the conversation, "I…I don't understand…"

"I know you don't baby," Andrew replied softly, cupping her cheek in his hand, "When you told me how you felt about me, what I should have told you was that I had been feeling the exact same way about you. But I was too afraid to do that."

Monica's mind was whirling as she stared into his eyes, trying to grasp what he was telling her, "You did? You do? You feel the same way?"

"Yes, angel. I love you and I don't know if it is right or wrong, but it is how I feel….how I have felt for so long."

Then for the second time that night, she surprised him when her teary eyes turned angry and hurt, "You didn't tell me? You knew the truth then and you didn't tell me?"

"Monica, I couldn't. I was afraid that if I admitted it, I would…I would lose all control around you. There would then be nothing stopping me from kissing you the way I have wanted to kiss you for so long."

Where his words should have brought great joy to her heart, instead another sob escaped her, "So letting me think I'm so wrong in the way I was feeling was a better option?"

The raw betrayal on her face seized his heart and Andrew struggled to somehow make this right. This was not at all how he had envisioned this night going, "Monica…sweetheart, I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. At the time, it seemed the safer option for both of us, but…"

"How? Andrew, I was so ashamed! I felt so horrible inside to be feeling those things and to know you didn't want to see me until they were gone! We could have figured it out together, but you didn't allow that!" She rose to her feet shakily, her tears refusing to end, "Do you have any idea how confused I've been? How much I've missed you? How terrible it felt to know that my heart hadn't changed so I knew I couldn't find you?"

Rising to face her, Andrew tried again to soothe her, "Baby, I know. It was a terrible thing for me to do, but I was confused too-."

"I trusted you!" The little angel's voice rose in a way he had never heard before as the root of the problem came out in those three little words, "I trusted you…which is why I told you, even though I was so ashamed to say it. I trusted you to know a way for me to fix it; to make it better, but instead you sent me away."

Anguish crossed his face as Monica covered hers with her hands and wept into them, "Monica….please….I'm so sorry…." His own voice trembled with emotion as he reached for her, but as soon as his hands brushed her shoulders, she pulled away.

"Just go, Andrew….just go. I need time to think."

His expression became desperate as his heart raced frantically, "I'm sorry, Monica…I know I was wrong. I love you so much and I've missed you terribly…"

"You should have thought about that when you told me to go," She whispered through her tears, before she turned away from him and started walking in the other direction.

He didn't want to leave her. He wanted to throw himself down in the sand and beg her forgiveness, but he knew that was not what she wanted. He had hurt her and she needed time to work it all out in her mind.

"Angel!" He called out to her, hoping she could still hear him, "I love you!"

But if Monica did hear him, she gave no indication and Andrew was forced to watch her walk alone in the darkness until her form could no longer be seen.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Monica walked for a long time with paying very little attention to where she was actually going. Her tears had dried, but her heart was in such horrible turmoil that she just wanted to lie down on the sand and sleep away her problems. Her human form was exhausted, but it was so dark and she had no idea how far she had come. Turning around, she could see that the waves had already erased her footprints and she knew she would never find the beach house until morning's light.

So she just continued walking and close to an hour later, she could see the faint glimmer of lights up ahead. Monica quickened her pace a little, as much as her weary body would allow, and before long she was walking on the sidewalk of the same little town where her last assignment had taken place. The town was small and she had come to know it well; well enough that she knew there was a small twenty-four hour diner just around the corner where she could sit down and rest and have a hot cup of coffee. She felt chilled right down to the bone and she wished she had a sweater to wrap around herself to take away her shivering.

The diner was fairly deserted in the wee hours of the morning and the little angel slipped into a booth near the back, her arms wrapped around herself as she tried to get warm. Human forms could be so constricting. She had so much to think about and all she wanted was to get warm and sleep. When her coffee came, she wrapped her small fingers around the mug gratefully, savoring the warmth. The only problem was that now that she was warming up, she had no choice but to think about Andrew.

She had never felt so hurt before in all her existence and even if she could maybe understand why Andrew had done what he had, nothing could erase the pain of the last several months. Missing him, feeling so terribly ashamed and so utterly confused; yet all that time he had been feeling the same way she'd felt. Surely they could have found their way together. But instead he had left her feeling like an outcast, unable to share her pain with anyone else other than him.

Feeling tears starting to fall from her dark eyes, Monica pushed away the half empty cup of coffee and left the money on the table to pay for it. She needed to find a place to sleep. Maybe her assignment would put her up for the night. Hannah had been a lovely young woman and she and the angel had hit it off immediately. Hannah would also not ask her a lot of questions that she felt unable to answer right now.

Leaving the diner, Monica walked back out into the chill and started in the direction of Hannah's home. She was so tired, it was all she could do to keep walking and she shook her head occasionally to try and clear her weary mind. Her head was beginning to ache and her chest felt a little tight and Monica hoped she wasn't falling prey to a human illness.

There was no sound. Nothing to give her any warning that danger was so close at hand, but it suddenly grabbed her. A hand clamped over her mouth deterred her from releasing the frightened cry that was welling up inside of her, and her exhausted body kept her from struggling hard enough to get away. There were two of them and the angel's tiny human form was no match for their strength. Everything moved so quickly, and before she knew what had really happened, she found herself thrown into a large cage in the trailer of an eighteen wheeler. A lock was put in place and the door of the trailer was pulled closed and locked from the inside.

"Can't believe we caught the angel." One of the men stated to the other one as they stared down at the little woman who was looking up at them with frightened brown eyes.

"You know, Jim, they might not even believe us in Washington. I mean, she looks just like a regular person and had we not seen her light up and then disappear yesterday, I would have never believed it myself."

Monica was breathing hard as she managed to digest what it was they were saying. Somehow, they had witnessed her revealing herself to Hannah, but instead of being full of the love of God, these men were filled with dreams of wealth. She was trying not to panic, but fierce memories came flooding back to her from one other time, only that time she had admitted to being an angel and had found herself in a mental institution. The thought of anything like that happening again was terrifying.

"Please…" She uttered tearfully, "Just let me go." Monica knew that surely God had a plan for even this, but it still didn't stop her from being afraid.

"Sorry. No can do, little angel," Jim replied, looking at her thoughtfully, "If we can make the secret service believe that you really are an angel…well, there might be some money in it for us somewhere and unfortunately, that is something we both need right now."

"We have a long drive ahead of us," the other man stated, "So don't you be raisin' no fuss now, ya hear?"

The two men started to walk up through the trailer to the cab of the truck but then the second man stopped and looked back at their captive, "Jim, we got a blanket she can have. She looks a little cold."

Jim nodded his head as he shuffled around through a box and returned with a slightly tattered but heavy blanket, "Here ya go, Mike."

Mike watched as Jim vanished up into the cab and then he handed the blanket to Monica, "Here ya go, angel."

Monica took the offering and then watched him follow his friend up to the cab, where they slid the door closed behind them, leaving her all alone in the dark.

X

Andrew paced back and forth on the deck of the beach house. He had been waiting for over four hours now and still the little angel had not returned. He knew that Monica was upset, but still, it was dark out and growing colder and the longer she was gone, the more concerned he became.

He knew he had been an idiot and that he had deserved all of her anger, but he was having a hard time forgiving himself for hurting her. He loved her so much. Just her smile alone was enough to brighten the darkest, most difficult of days. He had wanted to end this night by seeing her smile, but right now, he'd be satisfied with just seeing her.

What Andrew could not begin to understand was why they were both having these feelings of human love for each other. It had almost been easy when he had loved the Irish angel in silence for years, but to hear her utter that she was in love with him…there were no words to describe what that confession had made him feel. Sadly though, he had chosen to react in fear; fear that was more for her sake then his own. He didn't know what could happen to angels who felt this way, but if there was any consequence, he certainly didn't want Monica suffering it.

"Angel Boy!"

The sound of Tess' voice nearly made him jump as he turned around to face the older angel, questions written on his face, but she gave him no time to ask any of them.

"You need to go, Andrew. You have a very important assignment involving one little Irish angel-."

"Monica? What?" His protective nature was immediately kicked into overdrive.

"She's been kidnapped for lack of a better word by a couple of men who only want their thirty seconds of fame at her expense," Her own worried eyes met with those of the younger angel, "They're on their way to Washington with her, baby, and need I remind you of how difficult it was for her in the mental institution a few years back?"

He was trying to take it all in. Monica was in trouble. She had walked away because of him and now she was in trouble. Was she hurt? Surely she had to be afraid.

Only Tess' voice brought his thoughts back to the present, "God can turn this into something good, Andrew and you know that, but for now, you are to be with her," Only after he nodded his head, his green eyes determined, did she allow her own concern to shine though, "Take care of my baby, Angel Boy."

"I will."

The words were barely said when Andrew found himself in a dark trailer, filled with crates. His eyes darted around through the dark, knowing she was here somewhere and a moment later, a dry hacking cough led him to her.

The little angel was huddled beneath a blanket, but she was still shivering and Andrew had a feeling it was as much from fear as the cold, "Monica?" His voice was soft and soothing but her eyes remained closed. Kneeling down he reached a hand inside to touch her face and he frowned, finding her feverish.

"Father, please help," He said softly before he was transformed from outside of the object of her confinement to inside, seated next to her. Tenderly and lovingly, he gathered the little angel into his arms, hoping to stop her shivering with the warmth of his own body.

Monica stirred and wearily opened her dark eyes, aware of a familiar heartbeat beneath her ear, "Andrew?" She murmured her voice scarcely a whisper.

"Yes, angel," He replied softly, his lips grazing her forehead, "I'm here, Monica." He wanted to pour out once again how sorry he was for hurting her, but not knowing just how coherent she was, he hesitated, "Are you hurt, baby?"

She gave her head a little shake as another dry cough escaped her, "I just feel a wee bit sick…and very tired, Andrew."

He pulled the blanket more snugly around her, "I know, Angel….Monica…are you still angry with me?"

He heard her draw in a sharp breath before she answered, "Please….Andrew, I don't want to talk about it now….please."

His heart ached at her words, but he was unable to let it rest just yet, "Angel, just let me say again how sorry I am. I behaved terribly and I hurt you and I hate myself for that. I promise I..."

Two things stopped him from going on talking: Monica's tears and a noise on the door. One of the men who were keeping her hostage appeared a second later and, with a cold look in his eyes, he gave a few steps towards the fragile angel lying on the chilly floor. "You keep quiet in there, you hear me, angel? We'll make a stop here to eat something and rest and then we can continue driving up to Washington. You keep quiet in there and don't even think of running away! The road is deserted and we stopped the truck far from the motel, nobody will hear you!"

Mike, the other guy, remained at a certain distance, quietly staring at Monica with still haunted eyes. And Andrew could not miss the hint of pity and concern in the expression on his face: the man was afraid, that was for sure, and might be acting not only because of the dream to become rich but also under his friend's influence.

Right before they left, Mike ventured, "Jim... don't you think she looks a bit sick?"

"Sick?" the man frowned, not really believing that was possible.

"Yes, just... look at her, she's not feeling well..."

They both stepped closer to Monica, and that simple act made Andrew tighten his hold around her, feeling fiercely protective about his beloved friend. Weakly, she raised her head and looked at them, "Please... please, let me go..."

"Nah, she's not sick, she wants to escape, that's what she wants!" Jim spoke, turning his back on her, "C'mon, let's have something to eat, I'm tired of driving along these roads, my back is killing me!"

Had he seen the angry look Andrew had shot him, the man would think that a punishment from Heaven was about to hit him. The blond angel's kind and compassionate heart would certainly hurt whenever he saw somebody acting cruelly or cowardly towards innocent people. And when the victim was his dearest friend, anger rose inside his very soul and for a moment he felt like grabbing the man by the collar of his shirt and making him release Monica at that very moment.

Reluctantly, Mike followed his friend and the trailer door was closed with a slam. Monica and Andrew still heard them locking it from the outside and then everything became dark again. Only then, he turned his eyes back to the little angel. "Monica? Baby, talk to me..."

"Yes..." her voice came out as a whisper and he could easily tell how weak she was. That fact alone was enough to break his heart.

"You have a slight fever, angel."

"I'm so cold..."

He kissed her forehead repeatedly, caressing her long auburn hair and rubbing his hand up and down her arm. Only a thin lilac cardigan over a flowered dress protected her delicate skin and he could feel her trembling against his own body. After the two men had left, he returned to his human form and quickly, the blond angel removed his jacket and draped it over her small shoulders, once again wrapping his arms around her weak form, "Did they give you something to eat?"

"No..." a few coughs interrupted her.

Sighing deeply and frowning with great worry, he watched as she closed her eyes again, exhaustion written on her meek but now pale face. "Father... Please, help us. She can't stay here..." he prayed, desperately trying to figure out a way to save his beloved friend. The truth was that he was also feeling terribly guilty for what was happening to her – had he not been such a fool hiding his true feelings, they both would certainly be someplace else, maybe far away from all that trouble she'd got herself into because of him.

"I won't let you down, angel. I promise you," he kissed her temple lovingly, "I made this mistake once and now these two men are trying to take away the most precious thing I have in my existence. Only God knows how sorry I am... I wish I could change places with you, but since I can't, I'm taking you with me and nobody's gonna stop me."

Monica's eyes flickered open at the sound of his voice and at those words, which she knew came from the bottom of his heart, she could feel it through their permanent connection. In his green pools she saw nothing but fierce protectiveness and the deepest and purest love. She could be still angry with him, but what the little angel couldn't deny was how honest he was being with her now – and specially, she couldn't deny how much she loved him.

"I acted wrong... I made a terrible mistake, I know that. But I give you my word, sweetie, that I'll make it up to you..." Andrew lay one more kiss on the top of her head and rested his forehead against hers, trying to figure out a way to take them both out of there. The keys to open the door were with the two kidnappers and when they returned there would never be able to escape. Andrew had to do something now.

Gently, the blond angel laid his dearest friend on the floor and straightened the blanket around her, "I'll be back with you in a minute, angel." he said, watching as she turned her questioning eyes to him. Then he walked over up to the trailer door and surveyed it – it was old and in bad condition. A few seconds later, Monica's body trembled in fear, scared with the loud sound she heard: Andrew was trying to put the door down with repeated strokes and it seemed to be working. Ten minutes later, the weak lock finally broke down and the door flung open. He took a look at his surroundings and frowned with concern, noticing how isolated they were. There wasn't a single house nearby, only the woods, and he had no idea where to go in the first place. Then, he looked back at the little angel lying on the cold floor pondering about how risky it would be for him to take her away from that place.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Andrew gathered Monica in his arms once again, still not sure about taking her out of that van. Her condition was not good and facing the woods and the cold temperature outside would only put her human form at risk. If something happened to her he would be the only one responsible. Besides that, he'd seen the look in Mike's eyes – with a little persuasion, the man could be a precious help and maybe convince Jim that they should set the little angel free. Sighing deeply, he looked at Monica and brushed a tender kiss on her forehead, making her open her eyes slowly.

"I want to take you out of here, angel. But... But I'm afraid for you. It's cold in the woods and you're ill..."

"Can't we talk to those men?"

"I saw the look in their eyes, Monica. All they want is money!" he replied, angrily.

"I... I trust you..." she finally spoke, allowing herself to be in his hands and aware that he would do anything to keep her safe.

And those few words were all that he needed to finally make up his mind. "Come with me, angel, I'm taking you out of here!" Decided, he helped her to her feet and kept a supportive arm around her waist as they both left the trailer. It would be a long walk up to the nearest shelter – if they could find one anyway. But the need to save Monica from her captors was stronger than anything else. The two angels left the trailer behind and started to walk towards the woods as quickly as they could, fearing the mere thought of the two men returning to their vehicle and not finding Monica there.

After a two hour walk, they had to stop near a stream that crossed the trees as the Irish angel was visibly out of breath. With his green eyes filled with concern, Andrew helped her to sit down and wet his hands with the clean pure water. Then, he gently split some water on her face to alleviate the heat caused by her fever.

"Rest a little, angel," he said, tenderly caressing her face.

"What if they catch us?" she wanted to know, still not breathing properly.

"It'd take some time before they were back, we have some time ahead of them."

Monica stared at him for a few moments, remembering how angry she was with him the last time they'd spoken. Now the anger had subsided and was replaced by great disappointment at the one friend she once trusted the most. When he realized her gaze, the blond angel lowered his eyes, aware of the great sadness he could see in there – and extremely ashamed that he had caused that.

Tentatively, he reached for her small hand, "I... I want you to know that if I could turn back time, I'd have done everything differently, angel."

"You have no idea how hard these months were for me..."

"I do! I can see it in your eyes, sweetie..." she started coughing again and he put her long auburn strands behind her ears and shoulders, and gently rubbed her back. When the coughing subsided her cheeks were red from the effort and she lowered her head again, now avoiding Andrew's gaze. He reached out and touched her delicate skin, cupping her chin up and making her turn her head to face him, the strength of his gaze nearly hypnotizing her, "And believe me, having you away from me was like... It was physical pain, Monica..." he said, and then brushed his thumb against the little dimple she had on her chin, "I love you, angel... I know you're hurt now and that's because of me but I'll keep on saying this until you believe me... I'll fight for your love and no matter what I have to face, I'll never ever give up on you."

Their faces were standing just a few inches from each other and Monica could feel her human heart beating faster despite her sickness. His warm breath tickling her lips and the fact that they both had once longed for a moment when their lips would meet in a gentle, loving caress proper of those whose hearts were enamoured caused a fluttering sensation in the pits of their stomachs.

Fearing what could happen, Monica lowered her head once more and wearily rested the top of it against Andrew's chest, "I don't like the way I feel, but…I can't help it."

"I know," He whispered, his fingers running through her hair tenderly.

"I felt so alone…" Her voice trembled, as she allowed some of the pain that she had been harboring in her heart to be released, "All those months and I couldn't share it with anyone. I could have shared it with you, but…you wouldn't let me."

Fresh guilt flowed through him at her words. He had hurt her so deeply and in turn he had hurt the most precious gift he had ever been given-his incredible relationship with her, "We'll get through this, Monica."

She raised her head weakly and looked up at him through tear filled eyes, "I don't know if we can," Her voice was scarcely a whisper, before another bout of coughing shook her small frame.

She was so pale and looked so exhausted and Andrew felt himself becoming frantic. Though her words frightened him, the fact that she was sick and appeared to be getting worse scared him even more. He needed to get her someplace safe and warm but he didn't even know if such a place existed.

His eyes darted back to the way they had come and his heart nearly thudded to a stop as he could clearly see their footprints in the soft soil. Jim and Mike need only follow the prints to find them and the thought of them capturing Monica again was enough to force him into action that he really didn't want to take.

"Angel, we need to walk up through this stream for a while," He explained worriedly. He was loath to do it. The water would be cold and the little angel was already so ill. Carrying her would be dangerous on slippery stones, so she would have to walk with no more than sandals on her delicate feet. There was simply no other way. He had to make sure that the men would not be able to easily find them and a mile up through the water would assure that safety. Jim and Mike would lose their tracks at the bed of the stream and would have to search long and hard to pick them back up again.

He watched miserably as she opened her weary eyes at his words. She had been close to drifting off into exhausted sleep and he hated himself for not being able to allow her to rest for a longer period of time, but the realization of the tracks they were leaving was enough to push him forward, "I'll help you, baby." Standing, he pulled her to her feet and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist. She was leaning against him more heavily now, obviously fatigued.

Monica gave a small gasp when Andrew led her into the water and her feet were engulfed in the extreme cold. Neither angel spoke as they journeyed up through the stream; Monica was simply too weary and Andrew was too determined. He wanted this trip to be short. He wanted his friend some place dry and warm and his jaw clenched when the little angel was no longer able to control the chattering of her teeth. He could feel her shivering up against him, but she never uttered a word of complaint as they continued for the better part of an hour. She slipped several times and only Andrew's strong arm around her kept her from plunging into the stream. Her coughing was nearly constant and though he wanted to continue through the water in order to better assure their safety, he couldn't put the little angel through anymore of it.

He led her up on the bank of the other side of the stream, though he showed no sign of stopping yet. He wanted to place some distance between them and the water, "Just a little longer, Angel."

"Andrew….please…."

Her plea made him stop and turn to her, seeing tears in her eyes. Despite his jacket, she continued to tremble and when he placed his hand against her forehead, his heart pounded loudly; she was practically burning up with fever. He wanted to cry himself at his own helplessness at the moment. There was so little he could do to help her until he could find them a safe place and he had so much to make up for.

"Put your arms around my neck, sweetheart," He instructed and as soon as she did, Andrew swept her up in his arms, "Just rest. I've got you."

He continued walking, his precious cargo cradled in his arms and looking down at her pale face, he found her eyes closed, her head resting lifelessly against his chest, "Please Father," he whispered as he quickened his pace, "She needs help. We need help."

In answer to his short prayer, Andrew realized that the ground beneath his feet was much firmer and drier, so he was not leaving any noticeable marks. His relief fueled his energy and he quickened his pace, already knowing what he would find up ahead. His knowledge that God would provide materialized when his eyes came to rest on a small hunter's cabin and he hurriedly got to the door.

The cabin was small, but clean, complete with a small kitchen and table and a tidy bed in the corner near the fireplace. Andrew was quick to gently lay the sleeping angel down on the bed and then he pulled the warm quilt up over her small frame. Even in sleep, she shivered and the blond angel was quick to find matches to light the pre-prepared fire. The room quickly began to fill with warmth and then he began to survey what items were available in the kitchen.

There wasn't much, but it was enough. He already doubted his wisdom about lighting the fire, afraid the smoke from the chimney would alert Monica's captors as to her whereabouts, but he decided to allow it to burn for a time. A small closet revealed an extra blanket, which he covered his friend with as well, before finding a bowl and cloth. Filling the bowl with cold water, Andrew then concentrated on the high fever raging through his friend.

She never stirred as he bathed her forehead with the cold water, wishing that there were something more he could do for her. This would have to be enough. Taking her small hand into his own, he brought it tenderly to his lips, "Sleep, angel," He whispered softly, "I'm taking care of everything."

X

"Jim, she probably just vanished," Mike tried once again to deter his friend, "She's an angel for crying out loud."

"An angel wouldn't have had to break open the door," Jim grumbled, obviously angry that things were not going according to plan, "And an angel wouldn't have left footprints! Look, Mike, someone was helping her!"

Mike still looked uncomfortable as he surveyed the two sets of footprints leading away from the trailer, "Yeah, well, maybe it's for the best."

"You've lost your mind," the other man stated, "Nobody else is gettin' the money for finding a real angel! Let's go! We're gonna find her."

"I don't think-" Mike began but his friend was quick to cut him off.

"You don't think what? You want to keep living your life this way, buddy? With not having enough food on the table to feed your family? We deserve this!"

When Jim put it that way it was hard to argue. Mike was tired of barely being able to make ends meet at home. If they could prove the little female was indeed an angel, there would be a huge payoff. So why did the pained expression on her face keep haunting him?

"You coming or not?"

Mike nodded his head, despite what his heart was telling him, "Yeah. I'm coming."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Soon, the warmth provided by the fireplace made the atmosphere inside the small cabin cozier and a lot more pleasant, causing Monica to stir her head and finally open her tired eyes. Her heart was immediately filled with anguish when she didn't see Andrew around, and for a moment she thought she'd dreamed all that – her escaping from the kidnapper's trailer, the long and desperate walk in the woods, her dearest friend carrying her in his strong arms when she felt her legs give in due to exhaustion. All that sounded like parts of a confusing dream. Lost and afraid, the Irish angel shed a sad and lonely tear, wondering where she was.**

**But everything became clear to her a second later, when Andrew left the kitchen holding a dish with hot soup in his hands. He'd found a few cans and was quick to prepare her something to eat. As much disappointed in him as she was, Monica couldn't deny the wave of relief that washed her soul when she saw him and realized that it wasn't just a mere dream. Andrew was there with her, holding her tightly and watching over her like the old times, when they were inseparable and would trust each other's with their very existence. **

**Maybe they would still be like that someday. **

"**Angel? How are you feeling? Is there anything you need? Are you warm enough?" the blond angel's sequence questions showed how worried he was. He placed the dish with her soup on a small table and knelt right beside her bed. He tenderly caressed her forehead, cupping her cheek and checking her temperature: she was still burning with fever. **

"**I'm... I'm so tired..." she uttered, watching as he frowned with concern.**

"**I know, baby, it was a long walk. I prepared you some soup, there's food in the kitchen. Come on, I'll help you to sit up."**

"**I'm not very hungry, you know..."**

"**But you have to eat, sweetie," he gently admonished, helping her to sit up straight, "You're very weak and this bad cold is just making you worse... Please, have a little soup."**

**Andrew straightened a pillow against her back and when she leaned on it, he took the plate and filled a spoon with some soup. The Irish angel eyed him for a few seconds, feeling in her heart all love and worry that was flowing from his very soul, and deep inside she felt glad to be with him – even after all that'd happened, he was still Andrew, her best, dearest friend. She drank a little bit of the soup he'd so kindly prepared her and then reclined tiredly on the bed, closing her eyes briefly.**

"**You need to rest, angel. I'll be here watching over you."**

"**What about those two men, Andrew? They must've found out that I managed to escape and will come after me..."**

"**Shh... No, they won't. I walked through the stream for over an hour, if they were following us, they ended up losing our track."**

"**There was one of them... He was sorry for me, Andrew. He doesn't seem to be a bad person."**

"**Yes, I noticed that too. But the other man... We're better off away from him."**

"**When he caught me I couldn't do anything... he was much stronger than me and he took me by surprise, I didn't have the chance to..."**

"**I know, angel, I know..." he caressed her face, "... try to forget them for a while, they won't do you any harm. I'm so glad I found you."**

**She drank the rest of the soup in silence, but with lots of thoughts running through her mind. When she finally finished, Andrew placed the empty dish on the table and helped her lie down in bed. After he covered her small form with the blanket, the blond angel took her hand to his lips and gave her an encouraging smile, "You rest now, okay? I'll stay right here by your side and if you need anything, if you feel anything, just tell me."**

**Monica slowly nodded her head and then closed her eyes. A long silent minute went by and Andrew heard her soothing but now hoarse voice, "I'm glad you found me too, Andrew..."**

**Those were the last words she uttered before she fell into a deep sleep but they were enough to fill Andrew's heart with a mix of joy and emotion, and a few tears appeared in the corner of his green pools. Quietly, he bent his head and planted a tender kiss on her forehead, "I love you, angel. With all my heart."**

**X**

**The night fell quickly once the sun had set behind the mountains. The warmth brought by its rays had now been replaced by a cold, nearly freezing atmosphere and a disturbing silence filled the air in the woods. In spite of this, the moon and the stars were bright up in the sky and in the latest hours, Andrew had filled his time in between watching over Monica and checking from the window if there wasn't anybody in the cabin surroundings. **

**But the last time he left the window to sit on the floor, right next to the bed, he ended up falling asleep, beaten by exhaustion. It was then that the noise of footsteps walking along the grass broke the silence. Someone was certainly going towards the small cabin, as the sound got louder each and every second. Monica woke up scared, wondering if she was really listening to real sounds or if that was just her imagination. She turned her head and saw Andrew's sleeping face right beside her. Some logs were burning in the fireplace, alleviating the coldness brought by the night. She was exactly wondering if the fire would attract her kidnappers when suddenly the door flung open and her heart nearly stopped with great fear and sheer terror.**

"**Look at that, Mike! We finally found the little angel!" Jim's cold eyes were shinning even in the darkness and he had an evil, cruel smile on his face.**

**Andrew was soon awoken by the loud noise and once he saw the two invaders, he stood up and placed himself in front of Monica, "Stay away from her!" the angel shouted, not missing the terrified expression on her meek face.**

**But Jim was determined to recover his "golden pot" and, contrary to his friend, whose indecision was visible, he gave two steps towards both angels, "You stay outta my way, buddy!" **

**Andrew still tried to react, but the man was carrying a heavy log in his hands and used it to hit the blond angel full force, giving him no chance to react. Monica's frightened cry echoed through the dark woods and panic took over her soul when she saw her dearest friend falling lifeless on the floor. "No! Andrew! Andrew!"**

"**Quick, Mike, take her and let's get outta here! We can use that shortcut to go back to the trailer!"**

"**No! Please, leave us alone!" Monica cried, desperate to see Andrew's blood on the floor, "Andrew! Please, talk to me! Andrew! Andrew! Please, talk to me!"**

"**Monica? Angel, wake up..."**

**Andrew's soothing voice started to become audible to her ears and little by little, the Irish angel woke up from a terrible nightmare. When her eyes got used to the darkness inside the cabin, as Andrew had wisely put out the fire, her dearest friend's worried face was the first image she saw, and the realization that the latest horrible moments were nothing but parts of a bad dream finally started to put her little heart at ease. **

"**Angel? Baby, you were having a bad dream. It was just a bad dream..." sitting on the edge of the bed he tenderly caressed her hair, brushing away the few strands that were on her face.**

"**Andrew?"**

"**I'm here, angel. It's alright, we're safe in here." He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. But she threw herself in his arms a second later, her body now trembling with fear besides cold. "Those two men... They were here and they hit you... they were going to take me back to the trailer..." **

"**There's nobody around, Monica, I can assure you. I put out the fire for a while and I've been watching the surroundings through the window and I haven't heard anything, sweetie, it's all quiet. And even if they were following us, they would have to stop when the night fell, they couldn't walk through the woods."**

**Resting her head on his shoulder, she sighed deeply and closed her eyes, the images of the nightmare permanently on her mind. "It was so real..."**

"**As long as I'm here with you, they won't touch you, they won't do you any harm. Otherwise why would the Father send me to you, huh?" he gently pulled away, checking her temperature and trying not to show her all his concern when he noticed that she was still burning with fever. "Are you warm enough?"**

"**I'm..." Monica didn't know what to say. First because she knew he was extremely worried and she would only make him even more nervous about her condition. And second because she knew he couldn't light up the fireplace for a while – the smoke by early morning would surely attract the kidnappers attention. "I'm fine, Andrew..."**

**But if there was something that was second nature to him was the way she bit her lower lip and her soft brown eyes reacted every time she was avoiding to tell him what was on her mind. **

**Gently, he made her lie down again and straightened the blanket around her small form, holding her gaze as she looked at him again, "Allow me, angel? I cannot light up the fireplace but I could keep you warm."**

**As she nodded her head, he removed his shoes and lay down on the small bed beside her, immediately wrapping her in a warm, protective embrace. And she was also quick to hold him tightly, abandoning the small pillow to rest her head on his strong chest. **

"**Sleep, angel. I want you to rest as much as you can before we set off to search for help." He spoke, resting his chin on the top of her head, with a pensive expression on his face, now feeling even more the warmth that was coming from her skin. **

**Monica couldn't deny the fact that being in his arms brought her an incredible sensation of peace and comforted her troubled heart. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, secretly enjoying all the protection that only Andrew could give her. Then, when he started to run his fingers through her hair, in a monotonous movement that would surely lull her to sleep, the little angel raised her head and looked at him, shooting him a grateful look, "Thank you, Andrew... Thank you for everything..."**

"**No... don't even think of thanking me, sweetie." he kissed her perfumed hair as she returned to the place on his chest and tightened the hold on her small form, lifting a silent prayer for her recovery and for her safety. And his heart skipped a beat when he felt her returning the hug, as if repeating her thankful words all over again.**

**She was already sleeping when he whispered her name and kissed her head one more time, "I'm here for you, Monica. I'll chase away your nightmares... You'll only have good dreams from now on... Only good dreams, honey."**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**The night was peaceful and when Andrew had felt himself starting to drift off to sleep, suddenly the soft glow of God surrounded him, alleviating his exhaustion and refueling him. He quietly thanked the Father for his help, as Andrew in no way wanted to risk sleeping and possibly jeopardize Monica's safety.**

**He was still worried about her fever and he wished that there was some kind of medication in the cabin that he could give to her. He worried that her illness might be something far worse than a cold, possibly pnemonia. After all, he had insisted on her walking through that horribly chilling water and had forced her to keep going until exhaustion had prevented her from walking any further. He needed to get her someplace safer, warmer, where he could have her treated medically. For hours, his mind whirled with these thoughts, because it kept him from thinking about the one thing he wanted to avoid.**

**That it was his fault. **

**Had he just been honest with her, then neither one of them would be here now. Had he just confessed his feelings to her six months ago, the little angel would not have spent so much time feeling frightened and alone, nor would she be feeling betrayed now. Andrew tightened his hold around her small body. He would make it up to her. He had to as there was no other option he could live with. He had deeply hurt the most precious thing in his existence and because of his great love for her, he had hurt himself as well. Though she was allowing him to care for her, he could still feel how guarded her heart was and how tentative she was with him. He could tell himself it was just because she wasn't feeling well, but he knew the greater truth and could only lie to himself for so long.**

**At morning's light, Andrew slowly and carefully untangled himself from the little angel's sleeping embrace, frowning as he laid his hand on her forehead. She still felt so hot and though her face was pale, her cheeks were flushed. Monica had slept fairly well, despite several bouts of violent coughing, but yet her expression was far from peaceful.**

**He gazed out the window, wrestling with himself over what to do. He was loath to remain here any longer for fear Monica's captors would find her. He supposed that they might have given up, but something in his heart was telling him otherwise. The ways of humans were often foreign to him and trying to figure out why someone would want to harm someone as innocent as Monica was beyond him.**

**But even if the men had given up their search, there was no doubt in his mind that Monica needed minimally medication and possibly medical intervention, but how far were they from civilization? Did he risk taking her back out into the cool forest? Did he risk not taking her anywhere and the little angel falling even more ill? There were no easy answers unfortunately, but it was Monica's mumurings that drew him out of his thoughts.**

"**Andrew? Please...how much longer? I don't know how to do this...why can't you just love me?" Her feverish speech was slow and her head moved slowly from side to side, caught up in her restless dream.**

**Andrew sat down on the edge of the bed, and brushed the backs of his knuckles tenderly along her cheek, trying to awaken her gently, "Angel. It's all right."**

**When she opened her eyes, Andrew could see the deep pain in them and the waves of regret washed over him once more. If only he had done things differently! When Monica didn't say anything, he proceeded carefully, "How are you feeling, sweetie?"**

**There it was again. That look in her dark eyes and the worried biting of her lower lip, "I...a wee bit better, I think." Her voice was hoarse and immediately following her words, another fit of violent coughing overtook her small frame.**

"**Somehow I don't think you're being quite honest with me," Andrew stated sadly as he rubbed her back, waiting for her to quiet once more.**

**Once she did, Monica fell back against her pillows, exhausted from the effort and from the pounding in her head. Her helpless expression nearly undid him, "I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong...I know we have to leave before those men-."**

"**Shhh," He wrapped his arms around her gently, relieved when she didn't resist, "You have nothing to apologize for."**

"**I do," She uttered miserably, "If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be here now-."**

"**Angel, no!" Andrew pulled away and softened his voice, "If it weren't for ME, we wouldn't be here now. Had I been honest with you six months ago, none of this would be happening."**

**The little angel tilted her head up to look at him, her expression one of both hurt and concern, "You don't know that for sure."**

"**Yes, I do." He replied and left it at that. She rested up against him in silence, and Andrew could feel the shallow rise and fall of her breaths. Her chest must feel tight, judging by the guarded way she was taking in air, and that worried him all the more. He cleared his throat and decided to be honest.**

"**Angel, I'm not sure of what to do. I'm worried about how sick you are and I think...I think you may be more ill than we realize. I don't know how far away help is and I don't know if those men are still looking for you," He ran a hand through her hair, trying to calm his own racing heart, "Monica, I'm not sure what the best thing is to do."**

"**Andrew?" She looked up at him, her dark eyes filled with panic, "Please, just promise you won't leave me to go find help...promise me...please!"**

**His green eyes filled with disbelief as he took her face into his gentle hands, "No, baby. That was never an option. I'm not leaving you alone; not now or ever. I promise, Monica, I promise."**

**Her head returned to his chest exhaustedly, "Thank you," She breathed out the words wearily.**

"**We'll stay one more day," Andrew stated after a long silence, his mind made up, "But tomorrow, we have to leave." He left it at that, deciding not to go into detail about if they would be leaving to avoid the men or leaving to get her help.**

"**Maybe...maybe I'll feel better by then," Monica murmured, though her tone told him how doubtful she felt about her words. Her head hurt, along with her chest and throat and she had no idea how she would ever walk very far, even with his help. **

"**Maybe you will, " He reassured her as he resumed stroking her hair, "You need to eat something, angel."**

**Though she in no way felt hungry, she nodded her head anyway as she placed her well being in his hands. Her anger with him was fading. She needed him so much right now, but then again, she always had. She still loved him with all her heart, but it was her trust she had to work on. The last six months had been the most difficult in her existence; feeling as if she were failing as an angel because of the feelings she had for him, feeling afraid and alone, missing Andrew so much it hurt. Though he had apologized, nothing yet could erase how isolated she had felt during their long separation. **

**Though he had mentioned her needing to eat, Andrew made no immediate move to fix her something. He could tell she was thinking about things, he could feel the subtle changed in her body and knew that emotionally, she was struggling as well, "What are you thinking, angel?" He asked her softly, almost dreading her response.**

**She emitted a tiny sigh, unsure of how to answer his question. Monica wasn't sure if talking about how they felt about each other was even an option. It had to be wrong. God had never intended for angels to fall in love, "I suppose I'm just wondering if things will ever really be all right again." **

"**Do you mean with us?" He ventured, resting his chin on top of her hair.**

"**I don't know..." She replied, her voice laced with helpless tears, "I'm just...I'm frightened."**

**Andrew could hear all the things she wasn't saying in her voice and could see them with the tears that had slipped from her eyes, "I am too, Monica, but please know this. I love you and I don't know what feeling that way will do to us, but I can't change it, nor do I want to. God knows our hearts, angel, and He has placed us together here, now. Maybe we need to let that be enough."**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Monica slept during the entire afternoon, under Andrew's attentive and worried eyes. The blond angel remained by her side, gently caressing her hair and praying for her recovery. She was so weak, so fragile that he even wished she went back Home, in her angelic form. That way she would be protected from all the harm there was in this world. But a sudden thought made his heart ache with despair and deep sadness: her leaving could mean her staying away from him maybe for the rest of eternity. **

**But was he ready to let her go away from him once again? Was he going to give up on her for the second time, even if that was the only way to save her? Frowning with concern, and trying hard not to think about it, Andrew bent his head and kissed her cheek lovingly. Then, he stood up and walked over up to the window. The angel squinted his eyes, trying to see beyond the trees and bushes that surrounded the small cabin, his ears trying to capture any small sound that could bear resemblance with footsteps. He wondered if those men were away, if they'd given up on looking for her or if they remained following them.**

"**Father... Please, help me... show me what to do to save her... Make her heal, I know You can." He quietly prayed.**

**Andrew remained by the window for some time, wondering if someday he would be able to just enjoy Monica's loving company, her laughter and her sweet manners once again. Although she would always treat everyone who met her with kindness and affection he knew perfectly well that he was the one to receive most of her love and attention, as the little angel would never hide that a great part of her affection was dedicated to him. **

**Time passed slowly that night but finally the first sun rays shone through the horizon and the stars in the sky started to disappear. Andrew's memory went back in time and a bittersweet smile appeared on his handsome face as he remembered a day at the beach, a while ago.**

**(Andrew's flashback)**

**The blond angel had been walking along the deserted beach for a few minutes, with the gentle morning breeze disarraying his short blond hair and the warm sun rays on his face. At some point, he stopped his walk and looked around, visibly searching for something or, in that case, for someone. And a broad smile appeared on his face as he saw a pretty auburn lady sitting on the white sand, with her long hair flying up with the wind and wearing a loose white dress that went up to her ankles.**

**With her knees drawn up to her chest, she was drawing abstract patterns on the soft sand when Andrew arrived. He chuckled, imagining what could be there in her mind as she drew. But the also saw as her lips curved into a sweet smile even though she remained with her eyes fixed on the sand – she felt his presence even from the distance through the connection they shared. The blond angel knelt right next to her and kissed the top of her head, taking a seat right by her side. **

"**Hey, angel."**

**It was then that Monica finally stopped her drawings and turned her head to face him, her smile now ten times broader, melting his heart over and over again. "Hullo, Andrew."**

"**You seem rather concentrated on your... drawings!" he said, observing the childish traces along the sand.**

"**Oh, in fact I'm not sure of what those are... I drew these while was thinking about some things, you know."**

"**Oh, I see..." the blond angel knew her well enough to know that she was arranging her thoughts before voicing them to him and he waited patiently until she spoke again, "I'm a wee bit embarrassed, you know, Andrew..."**

"**Embarrassed?" he frowned with concern. Monica nodded, "... and a little ashamed..."**

**She tried to avert her eyes and turn her face to the ocean in front of them but Andrew cupped her chin and made her look at him again, "Monica, angel, did something happen? Why can I see a trace of sadness in your eyes, baby?"**

"**You'll think it's silly of me..."**

"**Of course I won't..." he tenderly caressed her cheek, "Please, tell me what happened."**

"**Nothing really happened... It's just that... well... I was just sad because I was here, looking at the ocean and then I remembered I'm afraid of water... I'm embarrassed for being afraid of something that God created..."**

**He raised his eyebrows with that confession and immediately pulled her against him, in a warm embrace. "Oh, angel, there's no reason for you to feel sad!"**

"**I can't help it, Andrew... I just wish I didn't feel like this..." she sighed with resignation, and rested her head over his shoulder.**

**Andrew was silent for a few minutes, tenderly caressing her hair while drifting in his own thoughts. Then he turned to her once again, "May I ask you something?"**

"**Of course you can, Andrew."**

"**Come with me?"**

"**Yes... but where are we going?" she wanted to know, taking his proffered hand.**

"**We're going to take a walk on the beach, sweetie."**

**Hand in hand, both angels strolled along the sand, watching the sun rising in the horizon, "This has been the best part of the day so far!" he said, not missing the slight smile back on her face.**

"**Yes... And I have to confess that walking barefoot is good. But walking barefoot in the sand and with you is even better!"**

**Laughing, he stopped walking and looked at her face, "You're a gift, Monica. A present from God that I'll never be able to thank enough for." **

"**You're a present too, Andrew. The best present I could ever receive."**

**Her blushing face, along with those sweet doe like eyes and the way she looked at him made his heart skip a beat with so much love. How come that sweet creature could even exist? And what's more: how could he ever exist without that adorable angel? At that very moment, he concluded that it was not possible. Not anymore.**

"**I want you to feel the ocean water on your feet..." he kissed the palm of her hand smiling reassuringly at her. "Don't be afraid, I'll be holding your hand all the time."**

**He loved her a bit more when he saw that she was making a huge effort in gathering all her courage and follow him, "Okay..."**

**They walked towards the water and, never releasing her hand, the blond angel instructed his beloved friend, "Let your feet get wet by the water foam."**

"**Okay..." the meek and at the same time scared expression on her face, and the way she bit her lower lip melted his heart for the hundredth time. An excited yelp escaped her when the cold water touched her delicate skin and he felt her squeezing his hand. Andrew watched as, little by little, Monica got accustomed with the water and with the small waves gently crashing against her ankles. Becoming bolder, she gave a few more steps into the water and giggled at the ticklish sensation produced by the waves.**

**The blond angel just stood there, lost in awe as he watched the little angel enjoying herself for the first time, winning the battle against her own fears. Her innocent, childlike manners seemed to hypnotise him and fill his heart with a wave of tenderness and affection he'd never felt before. A slight smile crossed his handsome face when she touched the water for the first time, never releasing the hold on his hand. **

**The minutes that passed since then were never counted and both angels would surely remain like that for a good part of their eternity. Noticing that her initial fear was finally gone and that she was now enjoying herself, Andrew chuckled and whispered into her ear, "Looks like a certain little angel is having a really good time in the water!"**

**She turned to face him – their faces only a few inches from each other, and her broad smile would be etched in his memory forever, "I am!"**

**Andrew couldn't resist and kissed her cheek lovingly and tenderly, surprised when she wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tightly, "Thank you..." she whispered, resting her head against his strong chest. Overwhelmed with emotion, he wrapped her in a warm embrace and kissed the top of her head repeatedly. "I'm the one who is grateful, angel. Eternally grateful."**

**(End of Andrew's flashback)**

**A slight smile crossed his face as that happy memory came to his mind. Maybe it was then that he started to realise how much he loved her. And he promised himself that someday he would make her happy again, as happy as in that perfect moment.**

**But a sudden noise took him out of his reverie and he looked at the now light blue sky: some birds were flying up in the tree tops, apparently scared by the movement in the woods, and that could only mean one thing: those two men were close to the cabin.**

**With his heart racing, he walked over up to the bed and gently caressed Monica's face, "Angel? Baby, wake up, please..."**

**He waited patiently until she opened her eyes and looked at him a bit confusedly, "Andrew?"**

"**Baby... how are you feeling?" he wanted to know, helping her sit down in bed.**

"**I'm... I'm not sure..."**

"**Do you think you can walk?"**

"**Walk? Why? What's happening?" she was immediately alarmed by the urgency in the tone of his voice. Trying not to scare her even more, he lay a gentle hand against her forehead and checked her temperature, frowning with deep concern as he noticed her fever was giving no signs of receding. **

"**I was thinking... It's morning already and if we leave now we can find help easily." She could easily see in his green pools that there was something wrong, something he wasn't telling her, she could even feel the urgency coming from his heart.**

**Biting her lower lip and not wanting to lie to him, she sighed, "I... I guess I could make it if... if you help me..."**

"**Are you sure?" he asked, hating to force her to do that. **

"**Y-yes..."**

"**Ok... then I'll pack something for you to drink and we're leaving now."**

**He had no other choice, they were running a huge risk remaining at the cabin and he had to find help, especially because Monica's condition was getting worse every minute and her human form wouldn't resist longer. Dreading to think about it, he placed a bottle of water and a can of soup inside an old bag and placed it on his shoulder. **

**Despite being terribly sick, Monica was aware of Andrew's anguish and worry about her physical condition. She could feel it through the connection both angels had established since from their first meeting, many years ago. Besides this, the Irish angel could also feel great sadness and regret inside his heart. He was truly sorry for lying about his true feeling for her. As a matter of fact, even though she was still deeply hurt, she knew how terribly scared he was about losing her.**

"**Andrew?"**

"**Yes, baby? Is there something wrong?" he immediately sat across from her, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly.**

"**No, I'm... I'm just so grateful, you know... For having you by my side..." she reached out and touched his face, noticing all his emotion and sadness, "... there's no other angel the Father could've sent other than you... And He and I know you're accomplishing your assignment wonderfully."**

**Lost for words, Andrew tenderly caressed her cheek, "I'll only say I've accomplished it when you're safe and totally healed, baby. You're the most precious thing I have and I won't lose you a second time, that I promised myself."**

**Shedding a lonely tear, she wrapped her arms around his neck, in a weak hug that filled his heart with a multitude of loving and at the same time sorrowful feelings. "Don't thank me, angel... I don't deserve it... Just know that I'll do everything I can to protect you..."**

"**I know..." she weakly replied, closing her eyes for a brief moment, also lost in a flood of emotion. When they parted, he gently lay both hands against her cheeks and brushed a tender kiss on her forehead. Andrew helped the little angel stand on her feet and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist, "Lean on me, angel. When you feel tired I want you to tell me, ok? We can stop a little so that you can rest."**

"**Okay..."**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

**The fact that Monica never once complained caused Andrew to feel even guiltier. They had been walking for well over two hours and even though he had all but pleaded with her to stop to rest, the little angel kept insisting she was fine. He knew it was far from the truth and that it had to be pure will alone that kept her moving instead of collapsing on the ground. **

**The sound of water filled the blond angel's ears and dread consumed him. His fears were realized when they emerged through the trees to come face to face with a flowing river that had to stretch at least fifty feet to the other side. There was no way he could ask her to do it.**

"**We need to cross it, don't we?" Monica asked quietly, her glassy eyed gaze taking in the swirling water.**

"**You need to rest," Andrew ordered gently in a way of avoiding her question. He led her over to a group of large stones so that she could sit down and his fear about her health resurfaced as she leaned over and planted her hands on her knees as a deep cough consumed her body. The air she was drawing in was raspy and forced and he again felt certain that his friend had much more than a simple flu or cold. **

**Grabbing the water bottle from the bag, he quickly unscrewed the lid and pressed it into her hand, "Drink, angel, please." Seeing as her hands were trembling, he helped her to hold the bottle as she drank thirstily, "We should have stopped sooner," Andrew added as more of a way of berating himself for not forcing the issue.**

"**Andrew, no. I'm fine-."**

**A tender hand to her cheek stopped her denial, "You are not fine, Monica."**

**She looked away for a moment, still trying to catch her breath, "You heard those men again this morning, didn't you?" She asked as she avoided his statement.**

**Andrew never even considered being surprised. Monica had always been extremely intuitive and this was no exception, "Yeah."**

**Her eyes wandered back to the river, taking in the water, brown after the rain two nights ago. It was a long way across and she was so tired, "Then we need to cross it."**

"**No, angel. We don't have to do anything but find you help," He insisted.**

"**But we'd be safer if we crossed it because those men would never think we did," She argued weakly, seeing the opposition in his green eyes, "Andrew, I'd rather be cold, wet and with you than with those men again. Please."**

**Her words tore at his heart and he ran a frustrated hand through his short, blond hair. He couldn't leave her to go find help on his own, but there was no way he was going to lead her already fragile body across that river. He couldn't do it. It was deep and slippery and if anything happened to her he'd never forgive himself.**

"**We're not crossing," He stated decisively after a long silence.**

**Monica looked up at him, confusion visible in her doe-like eyes, "We…we have to…"**

**Standing up, Andrew cupped her face in his hands, clearly able to feel the warmth of her fever against them, "No, baby. We don't have to."**

**Her illness was starting to affect her emotions and tears filled her eyes, "But Andrew, those men…" Her Irish lilt had taken on a panic stricken tone, but when Andrew spoke again, his voice was so gentle and so soothing, she immediately started to calm.**

"**Angel, I will never, ever let them hurt you. I promise you that. Please believe me when I say it. I know I haven't given you any reason to trust me lately, but just know that I'm going to take such good care of you." His green pools searched her teary eyes and when she left out a tiny sob, he pulled her gently into his arms.**

"**I know you will," Monica whispered tearfully, "You always do."**

**Andrew's heart pounded in his chest as he held her up against it, "No, Monica," He replied sadly as his hand moved to stroke her hair, "Not always. At least not with your feelings, but I'm going to do better. I promise you that too." He held her in silence for several moments before speaking again, "Now, tell me how you're really feeling."**

**Never lifting her head from where it rested pillowed beneath his chin, Monica admitted the truth, "I don't feel well at all, Andrew. I'm so tired and…it hurts to breathe."**

**Somehow, he managed not to panic as he took stock of their current situation, "Okay, we're going to set up camp here so you can rest and if those men find us, well, they'll have to get past me first and that is never going to happen."**

**Monica closed her eyes on a little sigh. Yes, she believed him completely.**

**By nightfall, Andrew was beginning to feel helpless and more than a little terrified. **

**Monica was getting worse.**

**The little angel was drifting in and out of consciousness, often times hallucinating from the high fever that continued to torment her. He had wrapped her up in his leather jacket, holding her tightly against his body for warmth as he stroked her sweat dampened hair back away from her face. **

**The night was long and stretched out for hours before him, and he couldn't take his eyes from her face for more than a moment at a time. Andrew was beginning to fear that if he looked away for any longer, she would cease to breathe altogether. **

"**Shh, Angel, it's all right. I'm here," He whispered, soothing her through her senseless fever induced ramblings. A tiny whimper and she fell silent once more, at least for a time and Andrew turned desperate green eyes to the heavens.**

"**Father," He uttered brokenly, "Please. You have to help her. I know…I know we've let you down with our feelings for each other and I know I didn't respond honestly when Monica told me how she felt. Father, I don't know what any of this means; neither of us do, but you know my heart. You know how much I love her and I'd do anything for her to be well again. She's everything to me and she always has been from the moment you placed us both together," Andrew dropped his gaze back down to the sleeping angel in his arms and ran a tender finger along her cheek, "Monica, she doesn't know why she feels this way either and I've hurt her so badly. I'm so sorry for that, Father. Hurting her, it is never something I want to do, but I was too afraid of what could happen to us if I confessed my own feelings. I'm still afraid of what the future holds for us. I know that we will continue to do your work, but I don't know if your plan includes us being together or for that matter…." He continued to look down to his angel's sleeping face, barely able to fathom what he was about to say, "Or for that matter, us ever seeing each other again."**

**He blinked away a tear that burned in his eye and then leaned down to brush a loving kiss on Monica's forehead, before looking back up at the starry night, "Surely these feelings come from you, Father. We just don't know what to do with them and I'm not even sure that after what I've done if Monica could ever even forgive me for causing her such pain. But none of that matters as much to me right now as her being well. She's so sick, Father, and I'm afraid for her. She needs healing that only you can bring and I'll do whatever needs to be done to see that she gets that….even if it means walking away from her."**

**Andrew closed his eyes against the pain that washed over him with saying those words. Resting his lips against the little angel's forehead, he kissed her tenderly, "I love you. I love you so much, my beautiful, sweet, little angel girl. Don't ever forget that."**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**As time went by, Andrew's tears rolled down his face and despair and deep sorrow consumed his heart at the realization that there was nothing else to do and nowhere to go. He and Monica were isolated in the middle of the woods, far from civilization and there was no one who could help them. On top of that, the night had been terribly cold and their long walk only aggravated Monica's condition. After much agony and with extremely high fever, the little angel had definitely lost consciousness a few hours ago. Andrew pressed her small form against his body in a desperate attempt to keep her warm but he knew it wasn't enough. As the first stars started to disappear and dawn started to break, his despair increased: it wouldn't be possible to go on following the river or to cross it as Monica's human form was extremely weak. The blond angel watched as a lonely falling star crossed the still dark sky and then turned his eyes to his dearest friend. Her pale face, her dry lips and dark marks under her eyes were evidences of her true condition. **

**But then it was his own heart that seemed to stop beating and he felt panic rising in his soul with what happened on the following second. A sob escaped him when he noticed that his own clothes had changed: instead of simple jeans and T-shirt, now he was wearing his beige suit. **

**And that could only have one cruel meaning.**

**Ever since he'd become an angel of death, Andrew had witnessed more people dying that he could possibly count. Some assignments were harder than others, that was true, but he'd always thought it was an honor and a privilege to escort them Home. But never in his whole existence would he imagine he'd have to fulfil such a difficult and painful mission. Never had he experienced so much sorrow.**

**Monica, the only living creature that had managed to touch his heart like no one else had, the kind and warm hearted little angel who was never afraid to show how much she loved him was dying in his arms. Flashbacks of several moments they had spent together came to his mind, such as the day they first met, or when they danced for the first time. And the more he remembered, the greater his pain became. **

"**Oh, no, Father... Please, don't let it happen... this cannot be true..." he cried, shaking his head in disbelief. Andrew held her even tighter and sobbed against her damp hair for long painful minutes, but the truth was there in his heart and he knew what he had to do – it wasn't time to be selfish, as now the hardest thing to do was the right thing to do. Albeit it would certainly break his heart forever.**

**Gathering all his courage he pulled away just a few inches and caressed her pale face. "Angel... Baby, I'm so sorry... I'm so terribly sorry for what I did... for all the pain I caused you... I hope one day you can forgive me, even though I guess I'll never be able to forgive myself. And now..." he took a deep breath, "... now the only decent thing I can do is to bring comfort to your soul... to alleviate the pain you're feeling... the pain I've caused you... Even though it means staying away from you for the rest of eternity..."**

**He took a few strands of hair from her face and placed a long loving kiss on her forehead. He also kissed the tip of her nose and spoke again, "Rest, angel. You were so brave, so strong... and I didn't expect any less from you. But I know you're tired... I know you need to go Home and I'll take you there, baby... I'll hold you tight all the way, don't be afraid."**

**Suddenly Monica's clothes were different too: instead of the flowered dress and the light pink cardigan, now she was wearing a long white dress. The beautiful garment and her bare feet accentuated her angelic nature, and slowly her human and her angelic forms melted into one. With tears pricking his sad green eyes, Andrew lifted Monica in his arms, always carefully as if he was holding a precious treasure. She was limp and still unconscious but now in that form he hoped the changes in her tired body would start soon. **

**Hues of orange and purple were coloring the horizon when Andrew, in his glowing form, started to walk towards an intense light, having the stars in the still dark sky as his witnesses. Then, both angels finally disappeared from the silent forest.**

**X**

**Andrew and Monica reappeared in an open green field, with green trees at a distance and colored flowers spread along the way. There was a stream of crystalline water flowing at the foot of the hill and a gentle breeze was blowing up against the angel's face. The sky above was blue and the sunrays only emphasized the beauty of that place. Carrying his dearest friend, who remained unconscious, Andrew walked for a few minutes until he found a tree with a huge green canopy. There was a white towel under its generous shadow along with a few white pillows. Andrew's heart was aching terribly, as from now on the blond angel didn't know what would happen to him or to his beloved Monica. But at the same time he felt relieved – the little angel who had stolen his heart forever was safe. She was at Home and at peace.**

**He knelt on the ground and, with infinite care, he lay Monica over the white towel and placed a soft pillow underneath her head. Then he sat down next to her, holding her hand in both of his. "It's over now, baby. I brought you Home... You're safe here and will be able to heal..."**

**Andrew bent down and kissed her forehead lovingly, and remained there, in silence, his green pools fixed on her sleeping form while her hand remained in his own. Several minutes had passed until the blond angel heard a familiar voice coming from behind him, "Angel boy..."**

**For the first time, he turned his gaze away from Monica, "Tess... She... she's very sick and... and so weak, I..." he tried to speak, tears never ceasing to fall from his eyes. The supervisor soon realized the anguish and despair caused by the heavy burden he had to carry over the two previous days. Tess knew better than anyone else that it had been the most painful assignment of his existence and was quick to try to put his heart at ease. "I know baby, I know. You did what you had to do! You brought her to the safest place in this universe; you brought her Home," she said, sitting next to him and caressing Monica's hair, equally moved to see her dear angel girl back.**

"**Is she going to get better? Does... does she feel any pain?" he wanted to know.**

"**Oh, no! No, she's recovering."**

"**Then why doesn't she wake up, Tess? There must be something wrong..."**

"**There's nothing wrong, baby. Monica has been terribly sick and her human form was greatly damaged. That has caused an impact on her angelic form as well and what she needs now is some time to heal."**

"**How much time?" he desperately wanted to know.**

"**I don't know, baby. I don't know."**

**He turned his eyes back to Monica and tenderly stroked her cheek wit the back of his hand. "I'll stay here, by her side, until she wakes up... I have to..."**

**Before Tess could say anything, another voice interrupted that conversation, "I'm sorry, Andrew, but your presence has been requested some other place."**

**The blond angel stared at Sam with disbelief and with anguish tearing up his very soul, "Sam... You can't ask me that..."**

"**It's not me who is asking, Andrew, and you know that..." the older angel replied, aware of the immense sorrow that had settled in Andrew's heart. **

**And the angel of death knew it was true – it wasn't Sam who was ordering him to leave, it was God Himself. What he and Monica felt for each other could never happen between two angels. They were heavenly creatures and there could not be romantic love between them – that was for humans only. Andrew's greatest fear had finally become a reality: he and Monica would have to go separate ways, maybe forever. That was the only way to prevent their feelings to grow, even though he knew it was too late, as his love for that sweet little angel had created deep roots. **

**The angel Monica had become part of his very soul, and no distance of place or lapse of time could erase the permanent imprint she'd left in his angelic heart. **

**Andrew still felt as if he were rooted to the spot after hearing Sam's words. This could very well be his last moment with Monica for the rest of eternity and he didn't even have time to…Have time to what? Get used to the idea? There would never be any getting used to this! Yes, God could separate them, but the largest piece of Andrew's heart would always remain with one precious little angel.**

"**Sam, I understand, but can I…." **

"**Of course," The older angel immediately knew what Andrew was asking. No one, not even he or Tess, knew how this story would all play out. Only the Father knew if Monica and Andrew would ever cross paths again, "Tess."**

**As the two senior angels vanished, Andrew turned his attention back to the little Irish angel and knelt down at her side. Her sleeping face was so delicate; her dark lashes lying so beautifully against her skin, it made his heart nearly cease to beat. **

**What could he possibly tell her before he was sent away? What words could possibly describe all the things he felt for her? Were there even words invented that could sum up her inner beauty or the way she made him feel? How could he possibly relate to her just how special he felt when he saw himself through her eyes, how he was a better angel just for simply knowing her? Monica could take what seemed to him to be the most ordinary of days and by her curiosity and inquisitiveness, by her ability to see beauty in everything, could make that day extraordinary for him. Who would do that for him now or would all of his days simply be reduced to shades of gray once he left the color behind, here in Heaven.**

**He sat in silence for a few moments, drinking in every tiny detail of her face as he pondered what to say to her. He knew he didn't have long before Tess and Sam would return and he would have to leave her, but no words seemed sufficient to sum up the ache in his heart right now. **

**Like a river, flowing ever closer to the sea, Andrew moved nearer to her and dared to brush his lips against hers, as his tears fell against her pale cheek.**

"**I will always love you," He whispered, hoping that the words would somehow find their way to her soul.**

**A heartbeat later, he was gone.**

**Heaven is not aware of time. There are no clocks with which to measure it, no nightfall to symbolize the ending of a day. The sun neither rises nor sets, but yet there is always light. It is always warm and beautiful and fragrant and it was in this lovely, perfumed creation of the Father, that Monica finally became aware of her surroundings.**

**Before her dark eyes even opened, she was aware of peace and great love and strong arms around her, cradling her close. There was no pain and she could hear Tess' deep, rich voice singing the words to a majestic song of praise that had never been heard by human ears.**

**It was then that the little angel felt safe enough to open her eyes.**

**Feeling the slight movement in her arms, Tess looked down and smiled gently, "Hello, baby."**

**Monica's eyes were wide as she slowly sat up and looked around her, realizing where she must be. The smell of Heaven's flowers could never be compared to any floral garden on earth, and the scent filled all her senses as it wafted delicately across the meadow.**

"**I'm Home," She uttered, the words both bringing relief and confusion when spoken. Her brow knitted as a serious expression came over her face, as she tried to remember how she had gotten here or what had led her to this point. Usually when she went Home in between assignments, she didn't wake up in Tess' arms. Usually, she would just appear here, with Tess and Andrew beside of her.**

**Andrew.**

**In small, confusing fragments, the bits and pieces of her last few days on earth flowed back into her consciousness. She had been captured, and had been ill; terribly ill. Andrew had found her and had taken care of her. Monica remembered walking, and a river and things in her memory grew faint from there, with the exception of a feeling of absolute panic.**

"**Tess!" She turned her worried dark eyes to her supervisor, but all she saw there was infinite patience, "What happened? How did I get here?"**

"**Calm down, Angel Girl," She soothed, reaching for the little angel's hand, "You were very sick, baby. Andrew had to bring you Home."**

**Those words brought a sensation of pain and grief to her gentle heart. Only Monica could know just how devastating that must have been for her dearest friend, and her hand moved to her heart as if to calm it. She knew without having to be told that bringing her Home must have broken the Angel of Death's heart.**

"**Oh Andrew…." She breathed out his name, even as her dark eyes looked around for him, needing to see that he was all right; wanting to make sure that he was not berating himself for the danger that had befallen her.**

"**He's back down there, baby," Tess explained softly, watching the wide range of emotions that crossed the little angel's face. The older angel already knew the whole story, but she was going to wait to see how much Monica wanted to hear.**

"**He…he left?" Monica's mind was racing, trying to comprehend what that meant exactly. Had be been made to leave because of their feelings for one another? Would she ever see him again? Did he know that she forgave him for everything even if she had never told him? She then realized that at the moment, she didn't have the courage to ask the questions.**

**To hear with certainty that the most incredible relationship of her existence was over would be more than she could possibly bear. She loved Andrew so much and even if they could never express that love for each other, she hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him that she forgave him. She'd assumed he just knew, but doing that had been selfish and inconsiderate on her part. Yes, she had been sick, but Andrew needed to know that she forgave him for not being honest with her. It would be difficult and heart aching enough to be apart forever, but to be apart and to not feel forgiven? **

**Tess watched worriedly as Monica rose to her feet, "Angel Girl, where are you going?"**

"**I just…I need to think, Tess," Her tone was desperate and laced with tears.**

"**Don't you think that maybe you and I should have a little talk?"**

**Her heart began to pound so loudly she was sure that Tess could hear it. She knew! Tess knew about how she and Andrew were feeling! Tess had the answers and suddenly Monica could not bear to hear them. Tearfully, she shook her head as she backed up a step, "No, Tess. I can't…it's more than I can bear…" She felt frightened and ashamed and so incredibly lonely for the Angel of Death, it seemed to be consuming her. Despite what had happened six months ago, Monica knew that Andrew would know how to handle this moment and she had no idea. She needed him there to hold her hand and to tell her it would all be all right, no matter what happened. She was trying to tell herself that, but it wasn't working. All she could imagine was an existence without Andrew and the very thought was enough to make her feel as if she had plunged to the very depths of her own personal hell. She could not cope with that kind of lonely. Even though God was always with her, Andrew was a part of her soul and surely if even an angel lost part of her soul she would wither away and die.**

"**Miss Wings, I need you to listen to me…" Tess was starting to feel quite concerned. The look on her Angel Girl's face was one she had never seen before; a look of loss so great that she feared Monica would collapse from the weight of it.**

"**I can't, Tess…I'm not ready…I'm sorry," Turning on her heel, the little angel ran as fast as her bare feet would carry her, through the meadow, as tears blinded her way.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Monica never knew how long she walked along the vast meadow. There was a turmoil of thoughts and emotions taking over her very soul and she never paid attention to the wild flowers or to the green hills that had always enchanted her. The beauty of that scenario and all its peace could not ease the conflict of emotions going on deep inside her angelic heart. She felt sorrow, anguish and confusion, and there were countless questions that needed to be answered. **

**But her little heart ached with pain as the one angel who would always listen to her observations and answer to her questions with usual patience and love was not there. Tess' words were clear: Andrew had been sent away from her, back to Earth, and she knew the reason for that. Their feelings for each other could be stronger than angelic love; they could be deeper than any human being could ever experience too – love in its plenitude had settled in their hearts, but, due to their angelic nature, this love was forbidden.**

**Images of her telling Andrew about her feelings for him came back to her mind and the memory of his hurtful words saying it was wrong, even though he was felling the same, caused tears to appear in her sad brown eyes. A sob escaped her when she also remembered that six lonely months later, Andrew had met her again and confessed his love for her. And this time, with her eyes shining with anger, she had been the one to turn down his love. **

**When she walked away from him Monica thought she would never be able to forgive Andrew for betraying her confidence. But the blond angel didn't give up on her so easily; he loved her way too much to do it. Andrew was there when she most needed him, and his love, devotion and permanent care finally managed to make her anger finish and her love for him grow even stronger than before. Overwhelmed with emotion, she imagined how painful it had been for him to watch her perish in his arms and, later, to bring her Home. Maybe that's why her own heart ached so much – their connection was so strong that their hearts were like one, sharing the same feelings, experiencing the same emotions, beating in the same rhythm.**

**But now she didn't know where he was or whether he would come back Home. All she knew was that Andrew's absence had left a painful void in her existence. The Irish angel knelt at the bank of a stream of crystalline water and cried openly for a long painful time. **

"**Oh, Andrew... I miss you so much... So terribly much! I wish I could see you just once again and tell you that my love for you hasn't changed... that I loved you all those months we've been apart and even after that..." she whispered, sobbing violently. Then, the little angel turned her eyes to the blue sky, feeling a mix of guilt, shame and deep sorrow, "Father, please, forgive me... I know why You sent him away... I know that what Andrew and I feel is wrong but... But I cannot send him away from my heart. Without him, my best part is missing..."**

**A familiar voice interrupted her prayers. "Angel girl..."**

**Tess was standing behind her and had a motherish expression on her face and the fact that Monica was suffering so much filled her own heart with sadness. The Irish angel didn't reply, she couldn't even look at her friend and supervisor, fearing the disapproval that would certainly be written all over her face. That would be too much to bear.**

**As Monica didn't make any movement, Tess gave a few steps and knelt right next to her. "I believe we need to talk, baby..."**

**She blinked a few tears, "Tess... please... it hurts so much..."**

"**I know baby, I know."**

**Monica's gaze finally met with hers, in a fearful look, with tears blurring her vision "I love him, Tess... I love him with all my heart! When... when I first realized it I panicked! Angels are not supposed to feel this way, we were created to accomplish God's will, and I know how wrong I was to be feeling like this. But then... then he told me he felt the same, Tess! Andrew told me he loves me and don't know what to do because... each and every minute of my existence I seem to love him even more!"**

**She started to sob again and Tess gathered her in her arms, trying to soothe her soul, "Shh... Calm down, angel girl. Calm down... I can see you're suffering..."**

"**I'm such a terrible angel, Tess! Such a terrible creature for wanting something that doesn't belong to me!"**

"**Of course you aren't. You're an angel of God, baby!"**

"**I let Him down!"**

**Tess pulled away and looked straight into her eyes, "Baby, can you hear what you're saying?"**

"**How am I supposed to forget him if... if every time I look at him I... I fall in love again?"**

**The older angel sighed deeply. "Baby, I know you've been through a lot and I can't possibly imagine how painful these last days have been for you but somehow I guess you've been away from your loving Father..." The tone of her voice was gentle but firm.**

**With confusion and an extra dose of shame clouded Monica's face, "I... I know and I'm so terribly sorry, Tess..."**

"**Shh... Give me a minute, angel girl, cause I didn't say everything I wanted to say. You've been so away from God that all these six months you've been suffering because of your feelings for Andrew you never turned to the Father and asked for His guidance."**

**Hearing that, Monica lowered her head, allowing tears to fall freely from her eyes. "I was so ashamed... so afraid..."**

"**I know that, baby. And He knows that too. God can see everything inside this little heart of yours. Your fears, your questionings, your feelings..." she made a brief pause, watching how devastated the little angel was. "And He can see how much you love Andrew." **

"**That's why He sent him away, isn't it? We can't possibly go on working together if we have this feeling in our hearts. Our love is impossible..."**

"**And who told you that?"**

"**We're angels... That should be enough..."**

"**Monica, look at me..." she cupped Monica's chin up and stared deep inside those sad brown eyes, "The Father sent me here with a message for you..." a beautiful glow involved the supervisor's form and a slight smile appeared on her face. She reached out to take Monica's hand and went on talking, "God would never put you and Andrew apart in the first place, as He knows that it would certainly break your hearts. And He sent me here to tell you that there's no reason to cry or feel ashamed. The love between God's children, either they're human or angels, is holy too. You and Andrew have a great capacity to love! That's why you've established a connection since you first met. And that's why the Father Himself made your paths cross."**

"**I... I don't understand..."**

"**What I mean is that the Father is giving you two His blessing, baby. What you and Andrew share is strong; it's beautiful and it's a present from Him."**

**Monica felt her heart pounding loudly in her chest at hearing those words: never in her whole existence would she imagine they'd be granted God's permission to love each other – all her fears, her shame, the confusion in her mind prevented her from listening to His loving words, blessing them both. But now she could finally feel those words being whispered inside her very soul and a wave of joy washed over her.**

"**Oh, Father... I'm so sorry... Please, forgive me... I was so confused... so afraid to let You down..." she prayed, hearing a loving reply, confirming what Tess had told her. The old supervisor squeezed her hands and gave her an encouraging smile, "And I want you to know that I too give you both my blessing, angel girl. I love you both so much and knowing that you'll now be like one fills my heart with happiness!"**

"**Tess... Oh, Tess, thank you!" she held the supervisor tightly, with a grateful expression on her crying face. "I love you so much! You're the closest thing to a mother to me..."**

"**Well, you're the closest thing to a daughter to me too, baby! But now don't you think there's someone else who would love to see you again?"**

**Monica felt that old sensation of butterflies in the pitch of her stomach at the thought that she would meet her beloved Andrew again – and this time there would be no fear nor shame, but just the most beautiful feeling she'd ever experienced. **

**Time on earth was much different from time in heaven, so for Andrew, the days passed slowly and with somewhat of a numbing agony. His tortured mind kept going over every little detail of all that had transpired since Monica had first confessed her feelings for him. He tried to imagine how horrible the six months following that time must have been for her, but he didn't have to imagine very hard; the depths of her pain had been in those beautiful brown eyes when he had found her on the beach. **

**On the rare occasion when assignments took them in different directions, they were never separated for long, even if it was only little visits they managed to pay to each other. But for six terrible months they had been apart and it grieved him to know that he was the cause. He had allowed Monica to feel terribly insecure and alone for far too long, trying to make herself not feel something that she felt with her whole heart.**

**When she had been dying in his arms, he had lost her all over again and then again once he got her Home and was told he had to come back down to earth. But though losing her was incredibly painful, knowing he would never see her again was emotionally crippling him.**

**Glancing at his pocket watch, Andrew got word of another assignment and with a heavy heart, he appeared at a rest stop for truckers. Knowledge filled his heart that this assignment was not for an Angel of Death, but that he was to fulfill a Caseworkers task. Looking around him, Andrew had to force back anger at seeing who his assignments were.**

"**It's all for the best, Jim," Mike tried to reassure his friend, "She was an angel for cryin' out loud. What business did we have trying to turn her over to a bunch of scientists? God wasn't about to let that happen and that's why she disappeared."**

**Jim scowled as he shoved his hands angrily into his pockets, "We'd of had her if someone hadn't of helped her get away! C'mon! She was trapped in the truck! If God had wanted her to get away, then why not beam her up right then and there? We'd be rich by now, had we just not left her alone!"**

"**Do you hear yourself? You can't beat God, Jim! We had no business tryin' to sell an angel!" He shook his head sadly, "I just hope she's okay as she wasn't looking too good."**

"**There can be angels without God, Mike."**

"**I don't think so."**

"**Not like you can prove it!" Jim growled, giving his friend an angry shove.**

**Andrew felt the light of God surround him as he stepped out of the shadows, "No, Mike can't prove it, Jim, but I can."**

**Mike's eyes widened as he saw his second angel in a matter of days and even Jim's mouth hung open in disbelief, "Holy Sh-."**

"**Yes, Jim," Andrew interrupted, "God is holy and just and unfortunately, He was not all that appreciative of the way you chose to treat one of his angels…and neither was I."**

"**You're the one who helped her, weren't you?" Mike whispered, suddenly feeling rather frightened of the part he had played in all of this. The angel standing here now didn't look at all fragile like the little female had, and Mike had a feeling that if this angel got angry the wrath of God would rain down upon them.**

**Andrew nodded his head, "Her name is Monica and she is a very dear friend of mine. God sent me to help her when you, Jim, refused to do the right thing."**

"**I was just trying to watch out for my family, angel!" Jim snapped angrily, "If there is a God then he can create as many angels as he wants! What's the big deal if he loses one in order to help a man provide for his family?"**

**Andrew felt anger enter into his soul as he struggled to control his tone of voice. He was supposed to deliver a compassionate message to this man, but Jim's indifference to someone so precious to him was intolerable, "Yes, Jim, God has many angels, but no matter how many of His angels I meet, I have never met one as loving, and caring as Monica. She would risk her very existence for someone like you! Someone who didn't even care enough to help her when her human form became sick! God has never created a soul as sweet as hers and for you to stand there and speak of her as if she is a commodity is almost more than I can listen to!" He had Jim's attention now and though Andrew knew he could stop and deliver the message of God's forgiveness, there was still more in his heart he needed to say, "I can't even begin to understand how you could look at her and want to cause her pain. I caused her mental anguish and I know I'll never forgive myself for it. But to want to make money from her suffering? To use a messenger of God for your own personal gain? It's despicable," He lowered his eyes for a moment, and gave into the truth that Monica usually delivered, "But the amazing thing is that Monica would forgive you for it and so will God, if you only ask him. If you would spend more time talking to Him than to yourself, I think you'll find that God will supply you some answers on how to provide for your family honestly, without having to hurt anyone else."**

**Understanding finally flooded Jim's eyes before he looked away, shame filling up his soul. There had been a time when he'd been in church every Sunday and had talked to God every night before he went to sleep and he had to admit that his life had been better. Somehow he had gotten away from all of that, and since that time, things had been falling apart, "Monica…is she okay?"**

**The familiar pain caused the angel's heart to clench, "Yes, she will be. God will heal her."**

"**Tell her I'm sorry," Mike pleaded, "I wanted to help her, I did-."**

"**She knows that, Mike and so do I. You showed her some kindness when she was sick and afraid and she knew she could trust you."**

"**Tell God I'll do better," Jim added, his eyes full of tears, "I swear I will."**

"**I could tell him, but I think it would be better if you'd tell him yourself." Andrew felt the glow around him fade and he knew that he was no longer visible to the two men. He watched as they stood in stunned silence for a moment before they walked over to their truck quietly.**

**Turning his emerald eyes to the night sky, Andrew found himself needing to tell his Father a few things, "Father, I'm so sorry about everything; about how I feel about Monica, about not talking to you honestly about it, about not being honest with Monica about it. I hurt her so badly, Father and I love her so much. I understand why you've separated us, I do. I know what we feel is wrong and disappointing to you, so if this is the only way that Monica and I can be all you intended us to be, then so be it. But please, take care of her for me. Let her know how sorry I am and how much I love her…how much I'll miss her. I can't imagine my existence without her…" His voice trailed off as he fought back the emotions that were trying to make their way to the surface, "She's the other part of my soul, my little angel girl, the only other angel who can bring so much joy to my heart. Please, Father, don't ever let her forget how much I love her, how much I will always love her. Tell her how proud I am of her for being so brave and so strong; so much stronger than I could ever be, as I couldn't even tell her the truth when it mattered the most."**

**The angel lowered his eyes and blinked back a few tears, before he heard his name spoken. The sound was coming from behind him and there was no mistaking who it was. No one else said his name the way that she did. **

**Turning around, his tear filled eyes met with hers as he saw the tears streaking her cheeks, "Angel."**

**To be continued**


End file.
